A broken heart

Ellis is gone. Ellis Bergstrom, two years old, died on Monday. After several surgeries, including a heart transplant, he could no longer survive. And I find that I am overcome with grief for this little boy I hardly knew.

Ellis had become part of my life, part of my daily routine. Every night since Liam was born, I would say bedtime prayers with him. And we would pray for Ellis. God, bring Ellis a new heart. God, bring Ellis home. God, keep him with us a little longer.

And there were hundreds, maybe thousands of other people with the same fervent prayer on their lips. You could say our prayers didn't work. Why do we pray? To paraphrase a character in the book I am reading, God already knows what is wrong and what we need, so why do we bother telling God about it?

It seems natural to pray in times of strong emotion - grief, fear, joy. Prayer for others is a bond that unites us in community. By practicing compassion, we become compassionate. And prayer is a spiritual discipline that connects us to the divine. Augustine said, "The act of prayer clarifies and purges our heart and makes it more capable of receiving the divine gifts that are poured out for us in the spirit...In prayer there occurs a turning of the heart."

Tonight, once again, I will turn my heart to God, in love for this aching family. That is Ellis's gift.